Soulmates are…tricky. They feel so good and hurt so bad. I have been observing patterns in my clients and in the world for years and I have noticed a few things about soulmates that will help you when you meet that person who "seems to know me better than anyone.”

 Here's How it works

Yep, they are real.

If you think you've met your soulmate, you probably have. (Unless you're that person who meets their soulmate every time they go on a first date, then…maybe not). There is that indescribable feeling that you get when you feel like someone has a connection to you like nothing that you could have ever imagined. Sometimes it's so strong you feel crazy. I've never told a client “No, you've gotten this wrong.” They usually are right. That person is their soulmate, but that doesn't mean they're going to be their real-time romantic partner for this lifetime. In fact, in nearly every case, that's not meant to be at all. A soulmate isn't someone who is “meant to be” your partner. They are an part of yourself in the world, living a different path than you but with the same soul source/energy. It's like they are you, just in another body.


One Soul—Two (or more) bodies

“Soulmate” might be a misnomer. “Soul-sharer" fits better. Soulmates occur when the same soul energy is divided into two (or more) people. Given the increasing amount of people on the planet and the fact that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed, it makes sense that at some point we had to start sharing the same soul energy or “splitting souls” in order to populate all the physical beings on the planet. So when you meet a person with who you seem to have that deep feeling of recognition, it's most likely because you literally sense that what is inside of you is inside of them. You are one soul in two people. 


Ladies First

Usually it's the woman/female presenting person who seems to sense the soulmate connection. I hear from a lot of women (granted, most of my clients are women) that they found a male presenting partner that feels like the person they have been looking for their whole lives. Or that they feel something really deep and they are waiting for the other person to recognize this too. Sometimes they haven't even met or exchanged a word with the other person—the feeling is so strong they don't need to. The ache, the energy, the intensity in their heart is so incredibly powerful that they sometimes lose their sense of perspective, and reality and can't think or focus on anything else. No, this isn't just an obsessive person, usually this is out of character for them and feels overwhelming. 


preoccupied Men

Most of the time the male presenting person of the pair is unavailable or entangled in some way— a committed (even if difficult) marriage, an intense business, a particular lifestyle, or in some very significant way—already hitched to someone other than the person who is their soulmate. They feel anxious at the idea of a romantic connection. Even if they accept the soulmate idea, they are still entirely unready to fulfill it in real time. The timing is off for them. Sometimes, it's so overwhelming to them that they just can't even ponder the possibility of being together. They are out of reach. No, this isn't just another unavailable person, this is something much deeper, and their unavailability isn't just about their circumstance, their part of the soul actually doesn't want this connection—not now.


Wanting different lives

Soulmates can feel so frustrating! It is important to remember that all our souls are hungry for experience. So, if one soul is split into two different people it will seek out really different life experiences. Yes, you will find a lot of similarities between you and your soulmate but ultimately that soul isn't interested in living the same life twice. This is why soulmate paths rarely converge for the long term. Often one half of the soul is longing for the other, and that other is only capable or interested in being on their own. This makes sense! That split soul doesn't want to have the same experience in two different bodies—it wants to have two completely different lives, one in each body. If you accept that this is the desire of your full soul (the part in you plus the part in your soulmate), then you can support your full soul to have all that it wants and embrace the disconnect in a much more content way—because your full soul IS actually being satisfied. 


It's not for this world.

This is the hard part. Time after time, I have watched soulmates be discovered but never realized. When you try to realize a relationship with a soulmate in this material dimension, the relationships cause a great deal of suffering- for both parties and maybe even for others around them. This is the tragic ending of soulmates—they don't work out as real-time relationships. If we expect that, we will have broken hearts one way or another. Even when soulmates do decide to partner romantically, I've seen it burn fast and bright—ending in a permanent split through distance, disruption, or even death. 


So, what do you do with your soulmate?

Experience the joy! The best thing you can do is truly engage and feel the delight your heart and soul feel when you meet that person who carries the same soul energy of you. If you release earthly expectations you can really relax into the feeling of it and celebrate the pure joy of your soul recognizing itself in another. It is a delightful experience for your soul—just let it be on that level, don't force it to be a material thing. Let' it be spiritual and it will be satisfying. Even if the other person isn't ready to see what you are seeing (very likely) you can enjoy the bubbly excitement all on your own. What a wonderful thing it is to see what the other half of your soul has been doing!